I love my job! I honestly do love it. I love the people, I love my bosses, I make enough money to live comfortably within what makes me happy, and there is a bar in my place of employment. You laugh I laugh you cry I cry you take my coors light I kill you shirt! However, the other night, a group of six southern folks came in to eat. I approached the table, and as I said, Hi, I’m Jordan, I’ll be taking care of you, a man in his mid-60s put his hand directly in my face and began to do the stereotypical, limp wrist, gay motion while talking over me saying, Spe-shul, repeatedly, followed by cocking his head back and opening his mouth to reveal 4 very black teeth and erupting into hysterical laughter and nudging his wife while pointing at me like an animal at the San Diego Zoo.
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I fought back tears while I took their drink order. As a new, trendy, highly praised Gastropub, the last thing I wanted was a bad review due to me losing my cool, written by a table of extras from The Hills Have Eyes nonetheless. You laugh I laugh you cry I cry you take my coors light I kill you shirt! So, as the last person ordered an unsweetened tea with “three gaddamn lemons” and picked out a fresh bottle of 2013 Coors Light to accompany it, I realized that all of them were snickering at me and had all begun to do the “limp wrist” as if where they come from homosexuals are treated like an entirely different, and subordinate, species.
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I walked into the kitchen, leaving the table of not-so-Beverly Hillbillies in a state of hysterics, caused by meeting their first gay person, which apparently in the town down south that they hail from is the same thing as what we refer to as a clown or jester or, gauging by their amazement, space alien. You laugh I laugh you cry I cry you take my coors light I kill you shirt! I started to cry without being able to suppress how wildly insulted I felt, and for a moment, I felt like they had won. The Confederacy was rising again, right in my beloved place of employment.
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