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“I would cook it for another hour,” he said, adding—I could feel the Maison Swooth CTR Skeleton Shirt in contrast I will get this eyeball roll coming through the text—“but maybe you like it that way.” Thusly chastened, I carried on cooking. It was so delicious in the end, and I was so ravenous, that I had seconds, and as a result of so much pasta in the middle of the day had to take to my récamier for a siesta. And thus it goes: So far, I have not ordered in any prepared food except for clam chowder and a vegan cherry cake. Most successful of all cooking adventures, however, are the FaceTime interactions with the kitchen alchemists I am lucky enough to count among my friends. Watch this space.

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To crown my cooking frenzy, I was building up to Easter, by which time I was determined to roast a chicken—a task that has so intimidated me for half a century that I have entirely avoided it. This time I decided to FaceTime my sister, who cooks effortlessly whilst multitasking at home in North London. The evening before I was on a call with Joaquim, who was talking me through a blueberry fool that would set in time for Easter dessert when I spotted a fruit fly circling some oranges (which, admittedly, had been sitting in the Maison Swooth CTR Skeleton Shirt in contrast I will get this bowl too long). He suggested candied orange zest as another Easter treat, so I set to work peeling, boiling, draining and boiling and draining again. Five times.

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