The risk of being considered an odd ball accepted, here are two things parents can do. Failure needs to be de-stigmatized. We learn the important things through making mistakes and when you are at a more sophisticated level you make more sophisticated mistakes. Not trying is what should be stigmatized. Failure is part of the game and failure can take you to unintended but sometimes wonderful places. People learn in various ways, it’s true, but those who have been made to feel second-class because they did not at first succeed will tend to turn themselves off from learning. In school that usually means learning only what you need to learn to get the grades, as opposed to learning to discover and grow – which is what we should all want. Fearing failure can lead to habitual opting-out of the learning process. For who wants to be a failure? Plus, if learning is associated with simply memorization, repetition, and regurgitation, who would want to do any more of that than is necessary? In the latter instance, if you do more learning than is necessary, you are also a kind of loser. This is the idea that you need to get the learning overwith to live a little bit and join life’s winners. Bottom line Happiness is divorced from learning, and that is deadly. Of course, there are some things that need to be learned that may not seem like fun, but that too is part of the game.
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